I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
