You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
