Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
