i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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