6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize