he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My cat gives me a boner
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
