He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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