Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
