If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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