I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
