this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
