ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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