she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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