I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beers last night were like the tears from god
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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