Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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