Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
