I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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