I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
