Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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