i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize