You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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