Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
