: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I need a beard to bite.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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