Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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