I will die if light touches me.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
