Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
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