PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
