I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
