Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
