Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
