If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
