You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize