i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
