Sry I called you an 8
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
