two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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