When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i think i scared a bird with my dick
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
