She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
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He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
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oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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