I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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