She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
