Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
