Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
