YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
