I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
