We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Dear god my vagina.
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