she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Found your dick twin last night
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
