I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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