Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
