remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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