Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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