Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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