you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
