I should be sponsored by Trojan
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
