Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
