guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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