I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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