Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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