Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
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Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
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I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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