lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
