He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
